It's Temporary

Link was all about being held today.  No problems!  No idea what his problem was yesterday LOL!

His weight shot up last night - he's now 2lbs, 15oz!  He's such a little champ - I'm super proud!

They've weaned his settings on his vent again, but only after having to go up again last night, so we're back to where we were yesterday afternoon.

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I'm actually pretty proud of Dave and I.  This is SUPER not easy.  There is a lot of guilt - no matter where I am, I feel guilty that I'm not where I'm not.  If I'm at the hospital, I feel guilty about not being home; If I'm at home, I feel guilty about not being at the hospital.  And driving to the hospital every day is brutal.  And emotionally it gets tough.  And we're tired.  But I keep telling myself it's temporary.  Every time I hate pumping, it's temporary.  Every time I'm stuck in traffic again, it's temporary.  And I'm grateful that the thoughts that I was thinking earlier in his short life are different now.  Now I think, "Will he be home in time for New Year's?  Christmas even?" instead of, "Will I buy him special pajamas? And how tiny will the casket be? And how do you choose a funeral home?"  I can say I feel confident that my little man is coming home.  But for now, we put in our NICU time.  It's temporary.