FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!

Okay, my sweet girls, you're birthday is finally here!

You slept in a bit this morning, though that was likely due to the end of Daylight Saving Time and Addie's horrible night of sleep.

Once you got up and had some Mama milk, you got to open presents from Elliot.  She got you a musical remote and telephone, because real remotes and telephones are some of your favorite things right now.

Mommy gave you your "Doctor's Office Toy," which kept you busy for quite awhile.  While you napped, Mommy started baking your smash cakes :)

Then, we headed off to see Daddy at work and had a picnic on his classroom floor <3 p="">
We came home for naps, then the busy night started.  Unfortunately, Mommy & Daddy had lessons to teach, and Elliot had her cello lesson.  Luckily, Dad's last lesson didn't show, so after dinner you ate your cakes (AND LOVED THEM!), and got a bath.

Charlie got her mama milk and Addie and Daddy played on the floor.  Then Addie got her mama milk, and your first birthday was over, as you went off to your sweet slumber.

We love you so much and we're so proud of you, you amazing girls sent from heaven.



Daddy wrote this incredibly beautiful poem for you.  I am so proud of him and in love with what he wrote!!!

A family of three
We thought we would be
Though we desperately wanted more

For a month and two years
Through fights and through tears
We tried for our number four

Our fears put to rest
When finally blessed
With the baby we now know as Addie

We were excited again
For that new moment when
Again we'd be Mommy and Daddy

A mere seven weeks after
Imagine the laughter
As another gift came down from heaven

It was really quite gnarly
When we learned about Charlie
With toes ten and fingers eleven

A year to this day
Nowhere close to May
Our miracles are already one

This family of five
Keeps me feeling alive
And it couldn't be any more fun!

To My Girls for Your First Birthday (Just 3 Days Away!)

You'll never know the frustration your Daddy & I felt month after month of not getting pregnant.

You'll never know the difficulty of going through fertility treatments, hormones, insulin shots, a surgery, and mornings and afternoons of countless doctor appointments trying to make my body a better place for a baby to grow.  Our fertility doctor said he WILL get us pregnant and only with ONE baby, as my body could not handle carrying a multiple pregnancy.

You'll never feel how I gave up after six months of hormones - frustrated and angry that I wasn't pregnant yet.  It was six months on hormones, but 16 months of trying to get pregnant.  16 months of NOT getting pregnant.

You'll never feel how scared I was to try acupuncture.  I would have done anything for you.  I now think that maybe acupuncture helped us to have twins.  I have spoken to several twin mommies who did acupuncture, too.

You'll never understand why, nor will I, when upon returning to the fertility specialist, the doctor said "I think it's time to try IVF," I replied, "Something is telling me it's not time for that.  Maybe someday, but not now.  Something is stopping me."  I think it was you saying, "Not yet, Mommy.  We're almost ready."

You'll never understand, I hope, how after 24 months of unsuccessfully trying to pregnant, Daddy and I agreed to stop trying.

You'll never how it felt to give up, to decide that our family would have to do with only having one child.  How upsetting it was to not be able to make Elliot a big sister like she wanted so badly.  

You'll never understand how I felt walking into the auditorium on the first day of school during September of 2011, seeing baby bumps on fellow teachers who hadn't mentioned their pregnancies before the summer vacation.  I cried in the car the entire way home.  I called Nana and cried to her.  

You'll never comprehend the breathtaking moment that I realized THAT SAME DAY, that first day of school, in the evening, through my tears, that I realized that I might possibly ACTUALLY FINALLY be pregnant.  It hadn't even occurred to me to take a test before then, because I had truly given up hope.  

You'll never hold your breath the way I did as I took that test, and the line that appeared immediately - not after two minutes - but immediately.  I was finally pregnant.  With you.  Finally.  And I thought that pregnancy test had a kind heart to not make me wait and guess and hope - it turned blue FAST.  

You'll never panic the way I did about telling your Daddy that finally we were going to have a baby again.  When I was pregnant with Elliot, I was so nervous to tell him that I bought an ice cream cake with "Congratulations Daddy!" on it.  Daddy was almost done making dinner.  How could I ever get out of the house to do get an ice cream cake this time?  We didn't have any noodles.  And Daddy needed noodles for dinner.  I offered to run to the store to get noodles and he said that no - we could just use rice.  I insisted.  

You'll never be as excited as I was to walk in the house and hand him that cake.  (And the noodles.)  "What else did you get?" he asked me.  "Just look," I replied.  

You'll never see your Daddy's face like I saw it that day.  The tears in his eyes and his excitement!  

I giggle now thinking about how just that summer I had said to Daddy in the car on the way home from Ohio, "I really thought by now we'd be trying for our third baby."  Little did I know, we were.

I called our doctor first thing the next morning.  They wanted to see me right away to test my progesterone levels to make sure they were high enough to sustain the pregnancy.  My levels were surprisingly high.  Daddy had gone to work, even though we knew there was going to be a sonogram.  That first sonogram is just a dot on a page.  Except that there were two dots.  

I look at the image on the computer, and I said, "Oh my God.  That is two babies."  The nurse said, "Do twins run in your family?"  And I knew it.  TWO BABIES.  I'm not sure that I said anything then. Then the nurse said, "Do you want to get your husband from the waiting room?"  I thought, 'Is this 1950?  If he were here, he'd be in this room with me.'  I replied, "No, but if you could get him from work..."  

And I had to work that day.  I walked down the long hallways of Clinton Elementary, past my friends whom I taught with.  I was itching to tell!  I wanted to scream it for everyone to hear!  "I'M FINALLY PREGNANT!  AND I HAVE TWO BABIES IN HERE!!!" Many of my teacher friends knew we had been trying for a long time.  I wanted to tell so badly.  But I kept it all secret.

I taught four classes that morning.  I have no idea what I said.  For an entire morning.  And luckily, I had an endocrinology appointment that afternoon.  So I had to leave school early anyway.  So I went to Daddy's school.

When I arrived there, he asked why I hadn't texted a picture of the sonogram.  So I showed it to him.  And he said, "Oh.  That's bigger than I remember Elliot being so early."  (I had had a lot of sonograms with Elliot, too.  Daddy and I are pros at reading them now.)  

I said, "Let me explain what is in the picture.  See that dot?  That dot is the baby's heartbeat."  And Daddy said, "Okay, I see that."  And I said, "See that other dot? That is HIS brother or HER sister's heartbeat."  Daddy said nothing.  Daddy's eyes got BIG.  And BIGGER.  And BIGGER.  

Our friend George was in the room.  He jumped up, hugged me, yelled congratulations!  George was so excited for us!  Daddy was, too.  But Daddy could hardly speak.  It was such a beautiful moment.  

Those seven months of pregnancy were hard.  I felt huge.  We worried constantly.  We wanted both of you SO SO much.  Countless doctors appointments.  A few scares here and there.  Bed rest.  That part was probably tougher on Daddy than it was on me, but he never let on.  He just insisted that I take care of myself.  And you.  

The night my water broke was thrilling.  I was ready to meet you.  You were too early, but we were going to make it work.  It was a scary night, Adeline.  We were afraid we would only leave that hospital with baby Charlotte.  I'm so glad you pulled through, and so quickly, too.  You strong girl.  

Both of you grew, eventually, and got stronger and stronger.  The nurses were astounded by our ability to nurse and bond.  And oh, the day we finally held you both.  Heaven.  

And the day, forty-seven days after your birth day when you finally came HOME.  

You are such a beautiful part of our lives.  I wouldn't change an ounce of this story.  Thank you for coming when you did.  For taking your time.  And for being the sweetest, most loving little sisters & daughters.  

I love you.

I'm Going To Be 1! So am I!

It's only 8 more days until THE BIG ONE!!!  We're getting all ready over here: