Sunday, September 13, 2015

The Month Prior

We closed on August 6th on our new home.  It's beautiful and huge upgrade from our old house.  Our old house was wonderful, but we were quickly outgrowing it.  On August 9, we left for vacation in Williamsburg, VA.  We returned home on August 17, but had less than a week until Dave returned to camp and then back to school on August 31. 
I began work on September 1 with Superintendent's Conference Day.  It was great to see my teacher friends again.  I was feeling great and having fun socializing.  I left a little for a doctor appointment at my endocrinologist.  They were adjusting my medication - I had been taking 20 units of NPH insulin at bedtime, and we upped that to 30 with 5 of fast-acting before breakfast.  My morning numbers have given me trouble with every pregnancy.  
The following day the alarm went off at 5 AM.  I know, right?  In the old house I would put my clothes out on the couch in the living room the night before so that when I woke up, I could sneak out of the room and David could sleep without interruption. That's not to say that I didn't frequently sneak back in the room to get jewelry, shoes, or something else I had forgotten to lay out the night before.  
In the new house it's different.  We have a en suite bathroom, so I put my clothes in there.  I showered and got dressed.  I went downstairs, tested my number, made my two eggs with one piece of toast with margarine and cup of coffee with a splash of milk.  That was my breakfast every day now, as I knew my glucose numbers were controlled with that breakfast.  I had to go back upstairs to do my hair.  But then I came back downstairs and relaxed with my coffee and morning news.  Then I went back upstairs for shoes and jewelry.  This new routine would take me a bit of time perfect so David could sleep without me coming in and out, over and over.
I left for work and stopped at Dunkin' Donuts.  I picked up munchkins for my eighth graders - they have to be at school at 6:45 voluntarily - I spoil them the first and last day with donuts.  It was rather challenging to walk into DD and not get coffee or a muffin or a breakfast sandwich or a donut or...  And I was even good once I got to work - I didn't have even one munchkin when my kids were eating them - I had a baby to protect and I was doing well on my diabetic diet.  I knew they would have lots of questions, so on my chalkboard I wrote, "My name is Mrs. Jaklitsch, you can call me Mrs. Jak.  His name is Mr Heller (my co-teacher), you can call him Mr. Heller.  Yes, I am going to have a baby.  No, you may not babysit."  I didn't want to announce to each class that I was having a baby.  And I didn't want my students trying to decide if I had eaten too many hamburgers over the summer or if perhaps I was pregnant again.  
The kids wanted to know everything.  When is the baby coming? How long will you be here? Who will our sub be? Is it a boy or a girl?  What about the musical?  I answered the questions as they came in as politically as I could.  They baby was due Christmas Day, but we were expecting more like Thanksgiving.  Your sub will likely be Mr. Heller, my new co-teacher.  It's a boy this time - yes, after 3 girls we're excited to have a boy.  I will be here for the musical, no worries.
The rest of my classes continued along the same track.  I answered questions, talked about rules, we sang, I joked, they giggled.  Lunch duty was fine - I spent time hanging out and talking with my kids. 
I went home from school around 1:00 and then you know happened.  If not, read further down the blog.

I do know that some people are asking how we could have possibly not known that Lincoln was making his way that night.  I can honestly say that there were no warning signs.  I felt great at school.  Doctors had no signs, I felt no different until labor started.  We knew the baby would be early, but we thought 35 weeks or so, not 23 weeks.  I have thought every what if that could be thought.  What if I hadn't gone back to work? What if I had had more water? What if I had sat down more? What if I had eaten something different or thought something different or was on bedrest or sneezed to hard or or or...  The doctors assure me that it was nothing I had done.  And they also tell me that it doesn't matter.  He is here, they are doing the best they can for him.  Wondering what if isn't helping me or anyone else.  So for the little bit of blame I hear coming my way, please keep things positive for us in this challenge. Thank you.


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