Day Eight - Not Great

I came in this morning, after leaving in tears last night, hoping for a good report.  Sadly, none was to be had.  Lincoln looked grey lying in his incubator.  I was told he'll be receiving another blood transfusion - his fifth in eight days.  We're perfectly fine with that, we see what a difference it makes when he has one; he perks up, moves around, his coloring improves.  He's started dopamine, a drug to help his disastrously low blood pressure.  Blood tests revealed low white cell counts, so as a precaution he has begun a round of antibiotics to ward off possible infection.  His potassium levels are too high - a sign of kidney issues.  To remedy that, they've changed what he receives as IV fluids.

Lincoln, in his stubbornness (he gets that honestly from Mom AND Dad), extubated himself last night.  That means that he pulled out his breathing tube.  His lungs collapsed, and he really stressed out his tiny little body.  He was re-intubated, but has now been set back quite a bit.  We're not nearly doing as well as we were even days ago.

And all of these updates mean no second round of indomethacin to try to fix his PDA.  I'm guessing, and I will get this clarified during rounds, that that means we're looking to stabilize enough to be transferred for the ligation.  I could be wrong - they could be working to stabilize him with the plan to start the indomethacin (indocin) in a couple of days.

In all honesty - they're working to make him stable so that he lives.


*A couple of hours later, Lincoln is looking pink again - the blood transfusion helps that.  Also, his incubator was open and I was talking to him when his nurse Kelly A stepped out of the room for a moment.  He opened his eyes very sleepily.  As I talked more, he fought to keep them open and kept eye contact with me (I was about 6 inches from his face).  The more I talked, the longer he kept his beautiful eyes open.  When I stopped talking, he settled back in for a nap.  It was a beautiful moment in a difficult day.

**Before leaving the hospital to come home to the twins, lunch, and a nap, some of Link's blood work came in and numbers were headed in the right direction.  He also had a head and kidney sono as I was leaving.  We'll hear those results tonight at rounds.

***We're back tonight for rounds.  Link's eyes are open, he's a little squirmy.  I'm going to hold onto that as a hopeful sign.  I really do feel like right now he's on the brink of life and...not.  I can't even bring myself to say it or type it.  The main focus of his care right now is his kidneys.  Our nurse tonight, Annemarie, asked if I want to kangaroo him, but I really feel it would hurt more than it helped.  Perhaps I'll ask the doctors.  If I thought he'd improve as a result, I would do it in a heartbeat.  But he's so unstable today, I can't imagine moving him and all his leads and tubes would actually be good for him.